I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize