is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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