If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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