This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
