We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
