I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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