He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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