Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
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well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
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went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
its liver damage thursday
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