you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize