Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Michael Bay diarrhea
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
