You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
