Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
