your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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