Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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