He is an equal opportunity slut.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
