she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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