You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
