Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Randomize
