I understand Curling. That high.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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