My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
