Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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