good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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