I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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