apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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