Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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