im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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