She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
