I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
