giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
