I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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