Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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