Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
