I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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