I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Randomize
