Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
