Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
