Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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