no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We were destined to go to rehab together
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
