Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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