Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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