I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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