Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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