GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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