i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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