You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
