so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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