ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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