she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
