the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
