I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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