He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize