Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
