apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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