I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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