Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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