I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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