ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
