this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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