I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
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Is it penis luge time yet?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
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Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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