Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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