I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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