Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
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1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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