Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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