I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
