There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Randomize
