I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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