My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
