I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
