I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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