I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My ass is underappreciated
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
