im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
