people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
